Janna Banana and the Floating Dorito
by NannyLamb
Summary: Janna Ordonia summons Bill Cipher. Jannanigans ensue.


Janna hummed to herself as she placed and lit the final candle around the chalk summoning circle that currently decorated on her bedroom floor where her carpet usually was. She needed it exactly there so she could cover it whenever her parents came in, of course. She'd been studying this circle for weeks, on Mewni and on Earth (and no, it does _not_ count as nerdy if you're studying the occult); she needed to get it just right if she wanted to summon this particular demon successfully, and with as little consequences as possible (although, any 'consequences' caused by a floating macabre dorito were bound to be somewhat entertaining. And insightful.)

"Argh," Janna briefly seethed as she lightly burnt her finger with her lighter.

_Ah, well, all demons have their prices, right?_

She shook her hand as if the pain was drops of water that would come off if she shook hard enough. Then she set down her lighter, picked up her spell book, and began to chant:

"Triangulum, entangulum. Meteforis dominus ventium. Meteforis venetisarium!"

Janna raised her arms dramatically, but nothing seemed to happen. Hands still in the air, she turned her head, searching with an air of disappointment. Then she slumped in defeat.

_Darn it. Another hoax._

Suddenly, Janna felt something stirring inside her. She doubled over, clutching her chest in pain, her eyes squeezed shut as tight as they could go. Then she sat up on her knees and stared, wide-eyed and subconscious at her bedroom ceiling as whatever was in her chest found its way out. Her unblinking eyes shone an eerie, blinding blue light as unknown words spilt from her mouth, uncontrolled.

"Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!"

The world around her faded to grey and Janna regained proper consciousness, only for her attention to be caught by an odd echoey laughter ringing through her ears.

A bright, prismatic light erupted from the summoning circle in front of her, causing Janna to shield her eyes reflexively. In the centre of said light, a flaming triangle appeared, the vast galaxy swirling within its perimeter. Within the triangle, a single, slit-pupiled eye opened up.

Janna smiled. It was him.

In a second, all the fancy light effects died out, leaving what looked like a simple creature floating in the middle of the summoning circle. But Janna, of all people, knew not to judge a book by its cover, or a demon's power by its... nacho-ness.

The demon was, to put it simply, a triangle. He was yellow and had one big eye in the middle of his... face? The only other things to note were his tall black top hat, dapper bowtie, and spindly little arms and legs.

He looked around, surveying his new landscape with some disinterest. After all, this wasn't the first time he'd been summoned by some creepy goth kid who believed in witchcraft.

Finally, his eye landed on Janna, who was gazing up at his infinite power in awe.

"S͜o yo̶u'͠r̷e҉ th͢e͝ on͝e w̴ho ͡su̕mmon͘e͘d ̧me, huh?͢"

Janna nodded eagerly while the demon floated around her head, assessing her.

"C̗o̻͉̬o͏̼̮l͕͈!͚̮͓" he said suddenly, "T̵h͟e name'̨s B̨ill ͜Ci̛phe̡r!̨A̛nd̕ wh͠a͞t̛ ̀ar͡e͠ you,͡ ͠a̸ ẃi̡ṭ͜c̵h?"

Janna chuckled slightly creepily to herself. "Finally someone appreciates my skills. So, yeah, maybe I am a witch."

Bill only laughed.

"It ̸w̧ąs̡ ͟jus͝t a j̡oke̷, ͟k͟id͜;̡ ͏every̵on͏e ҉k͠n̢ows̀ ̨y̨ou͏ ͡gotta̷ ̸be ͘a̷t leas̷t 60͏0́ ̷y͞éaŗs̵ ol̴d to̵ ̧perfor͘m̸ ̕_th̕a͞t̀_ kinda͢ ̢m͠ągic҉.͟"

Janna frowned.

"Hey! I'll have you know that one of my best friends uses magic on daily basis, and she's just 15!"

Bill floated towards her and patted her head.

"O͝h͡,̛ I͞ k͜no̸w̡! I͡n fa͝ct̕,̢ I ́kn͠ow̢ q̵ųit͘e ́a̢ b͟it ̵a̴b͞out̸ y͢ǫu ̀and yo͜ur̛ ͡l̵ittl͘e ́fr͏i̕ends̴." As he said this, a wand appeared in his hand that looked exactly like Star's used to. Bill twirled around and waved the wand in the air, creating a rainbow above him that burst into flames a moment after. He had a cheesy smile on his face (well, as cheesy a smile as you can have when all you've got is a single eye).

Janna raised her eyebrows, unsure of whether she should feel creeped out or impressed. She went with the latter.

"Impressive," she said, lowering her eyelids.

"A͞w̨, thanks͝, k̨i̵d̢!" said Bill, "N̛ǫw, wh̀at̵ can͝ ͏I͡ do for ͘ya?"

Janna blinked. In the excitement of her ritual actually working, she had forgotten all about why people usually summoned demons like Bill: to make a deal. Luckily, she had dreamed of an opportunity like this her whole life, so she knew exactly what she wanted.

"I wanna be a demon," she stated confidently. Bill floated there, staring at her in stunned silence.

That was a new one.

"Y͏ou..͞." his eye darted around. "Yoù ͟wha͠t?"

"You heard me," repeated Janna, crossing her arms, "make me a demon."

"L͡oo͞k͘,̷ k̛i̸d, ̧I͘.̵.. ͘w̴a̢i̧t. W͏hỳ w̕o̢u̸ld̀ yo͢u͢ ̨e͝ven ̕w͝a͜n͜t ̛to̢ b̀ę ͡a̵ de̡m̧on?"

The girl shrugged. "I dunno. Seems cool, I guess," she said nonchalantly, "I mean, I've tried making myself a demon before by splitting my soul in half, but now I just have half a soul."

She looked up at the demon. "You can have the other half if you want."

Bill blanched.

"I..̨.w̡h̵at? ̵Í can̛ h҉av̛e̛ ͞what?"

Janna rolled her eyes.

"The severed half of my soul. I mean, I don't need it any more." She paused. "You do want payment, right?"

Bill blinked, uncertainty etched on his... face. He'd certainly been caught off guard by Janna's offer. I mean, who in their right mind would just _offer up half their soul to an all-powerful demon?_

Janna would, apparently. Although, whether she was really in her right mind was debatable. She was the one who summoned Bill in the first place, after all.

Bill made up his mind.

"A̜l͈r͔̣̗͖igh͖͎̰̣̭t̡̟̭̟ͅ,̛ ͈k̫ì̤̺̮̻̥ḏ͖͙͈̗͓͜ͅ.̟̱͉̹̼̥͘ ͙̕I͔̻̟͍t̖̖͚̘̼͎̤͘'̠͚s̲̻͉̬̣͕̺͞ ̰̜̳͕̬̻a̜̳ ̗̥̺͜ͅḏ̩e̗͔͢a͏̹͚̩̬͚͙l̯.͔̠̝̩͠ͅͅ"

Bill Cipher extended his right arm as it became engulfed in electric blue flame.

Janna smiled.

"Sweet."

She was just about to come in contact with Bill's hand when the door was kicked open, revealing a heavily panting blonde-haired girl on the other side, her dorky best friend cowering behind her.

"JANNA!"

"Oh, hey, Star," Janna addressed her as if she wasn't about to shake hands with a floating nacho. Then she furrowed her brow. "Don't abuse my door."

It was then that Star and Marco noticed Bill hovering in front of their friend, his hand still aflame, waiting patiently for Janna to seal the deal. He even went so far as to check a watch that had appeared on his left wrist.

"Janna!" Star shouted accusingly, "are you making a deal with the _underlord_?!"

Janna's eyes flitted from Bill back to her friends, but her expression remained neutral.

"No," she said simply.

Star heaved a sigh, resting her forehead in her hand.

"Oh, Janna, Janna, Janna..."

"C'mon!" Marco piped up as he dashed into the room, pretending not to pay attention to the Dapper Dorito hovering in the middle of it, grabbed Janna by the arm, and began dragging her out the door. "We have more important things to do!" he exclaimed.

"Jeez, Marco, you'd think over sixteen years of gallumping around on magical adventures in another dimension would give you some muscle," Janna said, a bored look on her face as the boy painstakingly hauled her across her bedroom, the heals of her boots scraping on the floor.

Finally, they reached her door, where Star was standing impatiently. Janna looked back at Bill.

"Well, it's been nice meeting ya," she told him, "see you 'round."

And with that, she was gone, leaving Bill to marvel at the fact that his summoner had managed to make a grand exit before he could.


End file.
